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Tuesday, April 24, 2012

A Modest Proposal: Learn to Love Your Rapist

According to a new study by the CDC, 1 in 5 women have been raped in their lifetime. 80% of those women say they had been raped before the age of 25, with 1/3 of those women saying that they had been raped later in life. That's horrific, isn't it? I bet you're wondering what, in the name of all that's holy, could possibly be as horrific as that? How about the Republican politicians that don't give a shit?

Florida Governor Scott Walker (R) just recently vetoed $1.5 million dollars in funding that was to go to 30 rape crisis centers in his state; during Sexual Assault Awareness Month, no less (I shit you not). But it's not just Florida. In Kansas, they want to tax women who seek an abortion-- even in cases of rape and incest. The GOP is against a bill called S.1925, or the Violence Against Women Act, which is a bell to help women who are victims of sexual assault...their opposition is due to the fact that this includes the LGBTQ community. How about Rick Santorum, who is flat-out opposed to abortion, again even in the case of rape or incest, and implores women to..."make the best out of a bad situation."

You know what? Maybe Rick has a point. Maybe we're just looking at this the wrong way. I mean, really...what is rape?

Okay, well...alright-- no, we can do this....I mean, these Republicans ARE human beings, after all...there must be some way we can understand what they're trying to say, right? So, let's try!

Let's look at the act itself. It's a sexual act. And sex, as it's defined by most, is an act of love. So these rapists CLEARLY love their victims, so much in fact that they want to express it in the most vehement way possible; by force. Now, what does "by force" mean? Well, it means that the recipient of this love is unwilling to accept it.  And there could be a variety of reasons for this lack of acceptance; they're not physically or romantically attracted to the person, they don't know the person (at all), they're a relative...all of which are valid reasons. But maybe these women need to loosen up a bit. I can't tell you how many single women I've met that are so jaded by the dating scene. They just can't seem to find that "special someone" to connect with. These ladies always seem to talk about this guy or that guy that likes them, but they're just not into those guys-- for whatever reason. And sometimes, you need a little coercion to help you see the light. It's like my daughter with vegetables. Sure, she hates them...but if I force them on her enough, then maybe...

...okay, I can't do this. I mean, I know the "Modest Proposal" monicker is supposed to emphasize satire and sarcasm, but THIS issue is just not fucking funny, man. I can't possibly imagine the mindset of these ignorant, self-righteous "men" (and women) in the Republican party that are SO PRO-CHOICE that they would basically condone rape and incest! Make no mistake, people-- that is EXACTLY what they are doing.

As if the psychological and physical trauma alone were not bad enough for a woman to deal with after this disgrace...can you imagine discovering after the fact that this beast, this filth, not only penetrated you, but ejaculated inside of you...and GOT YOU PREGNANT?! And Republican BASTARDS, you are then willing to tell these women that "you have to make the best out of a bad situation", and go through with the pregnancy?!

I was watching the Rachel Maddow show last night, and she opened with a segment about Republicans and Reproductive Rights. If you have the time, PLEASE watch it:

  Visit for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

It makes my blood boil to see these smug pricks talking about the Right to Life. These fucktards that put women under scrutiny about whether or not they were "really raped", as if every woman out there is willing to accuse men falsely for some stupid reasons. And yes, there are women that have made unfounded accusations about rape-- as unfortunate as it is to both admit and type this out, it is true. But to suggest that this is all women, or even half of women, or 1/3 or 1/20, or 1/1000000 is ridiculous! It's a small enough number to disregard in this debate!

You know what's really fucked up? It's that these men, and their women, don't for a moment believe the bullshit they are shilling and passing for legitimate legislation. Think about, what if one of the wives or daughters of these Republican politicians was raped by someone like this:

How willing do you think those Republican politician's families would be to "make the best out of a bad situation?" You KNOW they would not. All of us know that they'd get their abortions THAT NIGHT, and pay everyone off to keep it quiet. And if it ever leaked, they'd come up with some politi-speak bullshit to justify it.

I know there are a lot of Conservatives out there that hate Barrack Obama, and think he's the devil, and all of that bullshit...but how can ANY OF YOU think that it is acceptable to treat women like this?! And don't deflect with your "Well, Liberals do the same thing..." bullshit, because THEY DO NOT! Liberals don't. Progressives don't. I would even say real Conservatives don't.

Republicans DO.

Friday, April 13, 2012

Battle: Los Angeles -- Movie Review

I remember a lot of people mocking this film when it first came out. And the reviews themselves were not that stellar either. But I'm a sucker for science fiction-- and I the idea of a war movie mashed with an alien invasion plot is very appealing to me. That's what Battle: Los Angeles is; a cross between Independence Day and Apocalypse Now. Yes, I said Apocalypse Now. That may be surprising to you...but not as surprising as the fact that this is a pretty damn good movie!

Now before anyone has a fit about how much a liked this movie, just know that this film is not going to win a Peabody Award, let alone an Oscar...or Golden Globe, or anything like that. This is not an award-winner, or critically acclaimed film. It is a fun, exciting sci-fi action film. Granted, the dialogue is stilted, and some of the pseudo science makes no sense...but, the again, does an epic global alien invasion ring true to you?

This film stars Aaron Eckhart as a staff sergeant assigned to a platoon of young soldiers on a rescue mission after an mysterious alien forces begin their attack on Earth. The platoon has been assigned to rescue a family trapped in a Santa Monica police station after the entire LA coast has been evacuated an hour before a mass firebombing is to wipe out what's left of the city while the aliens pillage it for some unknown reason (which I won't reveal here). As a viewer, you are left in the dark as much as the characters in the film. They are soldiers assigned to do a job, period. But that job has proven to be a great challenge, due to the unpredictable nature of the aliens, and the internal conflicts of the platoon-- particularly surrounding the staff sergeant's controversial past.

Battle: LA is a fairly conventional action film, until the last 30-40 minutes or so, when it goes in a completely unpredictable direction. After they find the family, it turns out that they are not going to make it out of Santa Monica before the fire bombing. From there, it gets REALLY interesting. They could have done some very standard stuff with this film, but screenwriter Christopher Bertolini makes some really interesting choices. Again, some of the dialogue is a little stilted and cliché...but you don't watch a film like this for dialogue. You watch it to see cool effects and some nifty storytelling. And this film definitely has that.

It's not the BEST sci-fi/action film ever...but it's a whole lot of fun, and will definitely warrant repeated viewings.

"Mel Gibson", by Joe Eszterhas

If there is anyone out there that ever had any doubt at all that Mel Gibson is an insane, violent, racist anti-semite...I submit to you the BOMBSHELL provided by The Wrap. They have acquired a letter written by Hollywood screenwriter Joe Eszterhas to Gibson...and let me tell you, it is RIVETING reading.

Here's a bit of the back story. We all know that Mel Gibson has basically watched his career tank after his numerous displays of psychotic behavior, from his "sugar-tits' DUI incident, to the ranting recordings made by ex-Oksana Grigorieva. In an attempt to make amends for his lunacy, he decided that his next film would be based on The Maccabees ("The Hammers"). He hired Mr. Eszterhas (Flashdance, Basic Instinct, Showgirls) to write the screenplay; probably the last smart move Gibson has made since. From this point, things go so horribly wrong that it's almost impossible to believe.

I will never be able to do justice to the story that Mr. Eszterhas has to tell, which he recounts in a "personal and confidential" letter to Gibson. I will post the first two pages here. The rest can, and should, be read at this link:

Who in their right mind could support Gibson after reading this personal account of his behavior? I mean, can anyone really watch any of those Lethal Weapon films, or Braveheart (which I am yet to see), or Passion of the Christ (which I am not interested in seeing) knowing that this is the kind of "man" he is? Well, I guess if you're a bigot, or a sociopath, or a batterer of women, you can't see anything wrong with his behavior.

This is the obvious takeaway: Mel Gibson is out of his mind. I honestly don't think there is a drug in the world that could temper this kind of behavior. NO amount of therapy is going to fix this man. He is clearly sick, deranged, and dangerous. He is unfit to care for his little girl, he is undeserving of the friends that have stood by him, and he has NO BUSINESS reaping the rewards of his Hollywood success. If he were any other man, he would be rotting in a jail cell by now.

Of course, Gibson has written a response to this so-called accusations, in the form of an open letter, which can be read in its entirety at TMZ:

"I have your letter. I am not going to respond to it line by line, but I will say that the great majority of the facts as well as the statements and actions attributed to me in your letter are utter fabrications. I would have thought that a man of principle, as you purport to be, would have withdrawn from the project regardless of the money if you truly believed me to be the person you describe in your letter. I guess you only had a problem with me after Warner Brothers rejected your script..."
 Personally, I don't believe him. This is the remarkable thing here-- why would one of the most successful screenwriters in Hollywood make something like this up? What could he possibly have to gain by lying about Gibson's behavior? Does anyone really believe that Mr. Eszterhas wrote this letter because Warner Bros. hated his script? I'm sure he's be rejected by studios before-- why would he be so upset about it that he decided to write a PERSONAL letter to Gibson. Keep that in mind, Esterhas' letter was a private one (until it was leaked), and this was followed by Gibson sending an open letter to TMZ. That is a seriously cowardly move right there. And I love the "I won't respond  line by line" defense-- that is the call of someone who has been painted in a corner and has NO DEFENSE for their behavior, other than deflecting.  I don't even believe that he wrote that letter. It would be incredibly difficult to even write your name in the midst of a meltdown. You KNOW he lost his shit while he was reading that letter-- IF he even made it past page 2! This is nothing but more bullshit.

Seriously, Mel...give it up. It's over. If it wasn't over before, it's most DEFINITELY over now (and will be more so, when Joe's son's audio recording comes out). NO ONE will hire you. NO ONE will want to work with you. You are a dangerous, horrible excuse for a man, and you need to stay isolated in your Costa Rican villa to live out the rest of your days in solitude.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Vaginal Bleaching

What IS IT with the people in India, and their skin-bleaching fetishes?! As if the idea of skin bleaching wasn't gross enough...then anal bleaching comes along, and that's just,'s time to perk up that labia with "vaginal bleaching". VAGINAL BLEACHING. What. The. F**K?!

Look, I don't want to pick on India too much. There was a time in America when black folks were bleaching their skin and straightening their hair:

 ...well, actually, some would say that there are black folks STILL doing that!

 Ugly and ridiculous. But I don't think you will EVER see a commercial like this running on American television:

Can you believe that crazy shit?! This is some of the worst self-hating garbage that I've seen since Ted Haggard!


So freaking sad-- these people are victims of the same 'ol Western/European ideals of beauty-- "It's all right, if it's light/white!" Awful. But I digress...

We're talking about vaginal bleaching, after all:

I love how they show the "black coffee". I mean COME ON! Really?! This is a problem?! I can tell you from experience, that I've never looked at a woman's vajayjay, and said "Damn, I wished she would bleach this damn thing...!"

2012, people. We are in the 21st century, and black and brown people are STILL obsessed with being lighter?! Now, this is coming from a light-skinned person-- so, I can't tell you from experience how it feels for dark skinned people to feel like they are unattractive...which is INSANE to me. My dad was dark skinned, as is his side of the family-- but I never looked at any of them differently. I've had dark skinned girlfriends, and never thought they were unattractive. All of this is so sad and horrifying...

Of course, we can look at how white people are constantly tanning themselves. Some are as obsessed about changing their skin tone as these Indian (and Jamaican) folks are. I think that's crazy, too.  Seems to me like NO ONE is really happy about their appearance. It's funny to me how the whites don't wanna be white, and the black/brown don't wanna be who they are either. Granted, this is not EVERYONE...but it's enough to wonder why this is so important to people.

I'm going to do the lame thing, and blame the media. I don't think black and brown people see enough of their own beauty on television and in movies. Western media especially seems to focus more on fairer complexions with regards to black folks. The most famous black faces out there are light-skinned. On the white side, you have shows like Jersey Shore that glamorize tanning. And hip-hop culture also has a lot of white kids wanting to "be more black"-- but, then again, that's been an issue with white kids for decades.

I guess as long as there's a means, people will always be trying to alter their appearance. I just wish that everyone could just leave their skin alone-- ESPECIALLY black/brown folks. We have enough issues to deal with; self-hatred shouldn't be one of them.

Drive: Movie Review

It's been a LONG TIME since I've written a movie review. Frankly, it's been a long time since I've seen a movie worth writing about. Who am I kidding-- it's been a long time since watched movies on a regular basis AT ALL; it's what happens when you have kids. It's because I have kids, however, that I have changed my movie-watching habits. Now, when my infant son wakes me up at 3am, while I'm up with him, I put on a movie. I've actually been able to see a few films this way. The most recent one I've seen is a small, but powerful, film called Drive-- directed by Nicolas Winding Refn (Bronson, Pusher).

I LOVED this movie. It made me think of John Hughes, if he was still alive, and was inspired by Quentin Tarantino films and decided that he wanted to do something a bit different. Everything from the story, to the 80s-inspired soundtrack, the look and feel, and the OH SO COOL performance by Ryan Gosling...this movie is a great one! Gosling plays a driver-for-hire, whose life as a driver is about to change when he gets involved with a couple of heavies (Ron Pearlman and Albert Brooks, who both give great performances). Along the way, he befriends and falls for his neighbor, played very sweetly by Carey Mulligan-- who's jailbird husband also ends up in the mix of the Driver's world.

I don't want to say too much more about this film. I ended up seeing it without knowing anything about it (my favorite way to see a movie), and was PLEASANTLY surprised. I will say that the first 10-15 minutes is incredible-- reminded me of why people loved Bullitt back in the day:

If you liked this scene, Drive will kick your ass!

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

George Zimmerman: Racist?

I don't want to waste too much time talking about this person until he climbs out from whatever hole he's hiding in. I want to address the push-back regarding his social politics.

Many "conservative" commentators are up-in-arms about how Zimmerman is being characterized by the "liberal media" as being a racist. That shouldn't really be a surprise to anyone-- most white conservatives would NEVER accuse one of their own of being racist. They just see it as liberals and black folks playing the "race card"-- which, according to them, makes liberals and blacks the TRUE racists.

One of the claims they make is the fact that Zimmerman mentored black kids. Now again, we can find out more about this when or if he decides to come out of hiding. And, honestly, I'd like to hear from these black kids that he mentored-- that would be quite a feather in the cap of his defense team. However, I find this "black mentor" defense to be weak, to say the least.

I grew up with white folks. My family moved to Mt. Laurel, NJ when I was 8 years old in May of 1980. Mt. Laurel was a predominately white suburban township, surrounded by other predominately white townships in South Jersey. I was one of the few blacks in grade school, from about 3rd grade to 8th grade. When we got to high school, there were a few more blacks-- which made up for about 15% of the school's student body. While in that school, I heard the word "nigger" literally every other day. The same white kids that talked about "niggers", and made other derogatory remarks about blacks, did not make those remarks about me. You know why? I do, because they told me. They said "You're not like them." Or, "You're different than the other ones". I also heard things like "You speak so well!", or "You're much smarter than the others!", or "You don't act black". Now, does the fact that they are speaking to me, or "complimenting" me, negate the racism coming out of their mouths? Nope. THEY ARE RACISTS!!!

At my 10 year high school reunion, I ran into a few of these assholes. They tried talking to me-- wanting to know what I was up to, where I've been, all that bullshit. I told them to go fuck themselves. I literally used those words. When they didn't understand, I explained it to them. Guess what? They didn't remember ANY of that. But I did. I remembered it like it was yesterday. As a black man, I NEVER forget racist bullshit like that. And listen-- and I think this goes without saying-- not every white person I went to school with was a racist. I still talk to quite a few of them on Facebook. And you know what? Those white folks remembered all that racist shit, too! You know why? BECAUSE THEY WERE NOT, AND ARE NOT, RACISTS. They understood then, and they understand now, that racism among white folks as never gone away. It existed for my great-great-great grands...and it will exist for my two young babies.

Thankfully, we live in an era when white racism doesn't have the same impact as it did even for my parents. None of the white folks I deal with on a daily basis have a racist bone in their bodies. In fact, they get as aggravated and annoyed (and saddened) by the people that continue to bring their retarded social politics out in the open. They hated those racist teabbag fucks in the Youtube videos at the McCain/Palin rallies, and the Tumblrs of those stupid posters and signs at the 'bagger events. They hate morons like Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh and Pat Buchanan that make insane and inaccurate statements about race. And they hate stories about people like George Zimmerman, who goes into hiding when then heat is up, unwilling to stand up for himself-- but why?! If he's not a bigot, and this shooting wasn't based on his prejudices...hold a press conference, meet with Trayvon's parents-- ACKNOWLEDGE your wrongs! But he won't. And at this point, it wouldn't matter.

These people have become very adept at trying to hide their bigotry. Of course, there are some that just don't care, and will gladly display their ignorance and emotional retardation. Those are naturally the easy ones to spot. The problem with this Zimmerman case is simply the fact that he made a mistake; he thought he was going after one of the bad ones.

I Heard Allen West is a Witless Turd


Republicans are bad enough. It's the black Republicans that make my sphincter seize up. Not because they are Republicans...but when they say outrageous things, for some reason, they end up being WORSE than your typical idiotic, ideological garbage heap of piss-poor commentary. Granted, not ALL black Republicans are awful. But the ones who are....Alan Keyes, Herman Cain, Michael Steele...and THIS ass-clown, Allen West...THESE are the worst of the worst.

West has made some idiotic statements before, but this new line of attack against Democrats is too ridiculous, even for the most partisan kiss-ass. This cretin was speaking at a town hall meeting in Palm City, Florida, when he made the insane claim that he had "heard" that there were 80 House Democrats who were communists. COMMUNISTS?! I'm sorry, did I just wake up in 1955? Who the HELL is concerned about communism in 2012?! In fact, who in their right mind was EVER concerned about the so-called spread of communism?! This was always a claim spread by paranoid sociopaths. Many people, including Martin Luther King, Jr., were called communists. And I have to say, if he's a member...maybe I should be, too.

Of course, I wouldn't call myself a communist for many reason-- mostly because I don't give a shit. The ONLY THING that communism really does is put everyone on a level playing field-- hence it's root, commune. Naturally, that doesn't bode well for capitalists, libertarians, totalitarianists and all other ideologies that separate the haves from the have-nots. America has always been about giving the illusion that EVERYONE can be rich and successful...which is not true in the least. It's like the lottery-- "Ya gotta be in it, to win it!" But not everyone is gonna win it; most people will either JUST get by, or have NOTHING. And those who have nothing, according to most Republicans, are on their own.

The only real reason that someone like West is making these claims is because the Republicans are in danger of losing the House. No one has really talked about this-- possibly because they don't wanna jinx it. Since the Republican Party took the house, they have done all they can to trash their reputations more so than they had under Bush. Remember how they took the House based on "Jobs, jobs, jobs"? And what happened after the election in 2010? Did they push for creating jobs? Nope. Instead, they pushed anti-immigration legislation, gay marriage bans, anti-labor union laws, anti-WOMEN legislation-- NOTHING to do with job creation.

I, honestly, welcome the rhetorically retarded politicians like Allen West to continue to run their mouths  stupidly. I want him to continue to make inaccurate platitudes against his intellectual betters, such as President Obama. At this same Palm City town hall, he had complained about President Obama not showing up to have a debate with him-- after he made a request or two to do so. When asked why he thought the president didn't respond, he claimed that Obama was "scared". Funny, huh? Clowns like this LOVE to talk a big game. It's usually the dumb ones that have the biggest mouths. I think it would go without saying that if Allen West EVER had the change to debate Barack Obama, to say that West would have his ass handed to him is an understatement. It would be a slaughter of epic proportions. It would be so bad and embarrassing to watch that I don't think my sphincter could tighten hard enough-- diamonds would be made without the coal! He says these things because he knows that the president wouldn't want to waste his time. At the same time, he's narcissistic enough to believe that there is at least a 15% chance that he could actually score this mythological debate. Deep down, though-- if it EVER happened, he'd be unemployed almost instantly. Then he'd have to turn to Democrats for all those communist programs he's been complaining about.

Someone once said: "I'm very concerned about this very divisive rhetoric..." Can you guess who that was?

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

A Modest Proposal: Ban on Male Ejaculation

If you've been following the news lately, particularly the news involving GOP candidates and politicians, you know that there's a war going on. No, not those silly goings on overseas! I'm talking about the War on Women. To some people, I'm sure that sounds hyperbolic to say the least. But make no mistake, there are men, and a small handful of women ('Aunt Toms') that are seeking to eliminate the reproductive rights of women. It's making women pay for "rape kits",  forcing women to get penetrative ultrasounds in the case of abortion, and the elimination of Planned Parenthood, among other things. Basically, these so-called Conservatives are telling women that if you get raped, or you or your child are in danger of severe physical injury or're on your own.

The primary excuse that these people use in justifying their view is the "right to life" argument. This being that life begins at conception. Basically, as soon as the load is has begun. Well, that's all well and good, but inaccurate. I rightly argue that life actually begins WAY BEFORE the sperm reaches the egg. The sperm ITSELF is a living thing:

See that? THAT, my friends, is life! And when you put things in that perspective, you have to consider that EVERY TIME a male ejaculates...LIFE is created. Which brings me to the obvious point: Male masturbation, and sex without procreation, leads to male ejaculation which, in turn, kills MILLIONS upon MILLIONS of living beings.

Listen, boys-- think about how often you've masturbated up to this moment. Anytime you release in your hand, a sock, a tissue, or a back, an ass, or a are basically creating and destroying life. Just think of how many US Presidents, or great surgeons or filmmakers, or Hitlers you are killing weekly, daily, or hourly! Where is the "right to life" argument then?! Every single one of those spermatozoa you excrete is alive, and every time you spank it to are killing GENERATIONS of humans! This makes ALL human males among the most infamous of serial killers. And we are ALL getting away with it! Well, not anymore!

Men should ONLY be allowed to ejaculate when they are in the process of impregnating a woman. That means teenage boys, single men, and homosexuals are NOT ALLOWED to cum without female egg fertilization. This way, there will be NO NEED for abortions-- women won't get knocked up without getting married first! This also means NO GAY MARRIAGE-- hell, NO GAYS AT ALL...which will make right wingers and Evangelicals VERY HAPPY. This is also environmentally sound. No more unnecessary laundry, or wasted tissues, napkins, or paper towels. EVERY SPERM will be accounted for by our population count!

So you see-- we can protect women's reproductive rights by being responsible, and showing a little restraint. After all...every life, and every sperm, is sacred:

Monday, April 2, 2012

Sarah Palin co-hosts "Today"

No, I am not making that up. This is ACTUALLY happening. THE Sarah Palin has actually beeen tapped to co-host "Today" on Tuesday morning, April 3rd (tomorrow). She called into the show today the give viewers a sneak-peak as to what to expect. I honestly wouldn't expect much-- and apparently neither is Matt Lauer, who asked Palin a "jokey" question:

So there you go. A simple question, and a rambling bull-shit answer. So I guess we can expect half-assery from the half-term Governor.

I mean,  I guess they have to do SOMETHING to get ratings, but seriously-- why not Kim Kardashian or the Octomom? They're JUST AS GOOD as Palin, and would probably do a bit of reading and research BEFORE their appearance. Which is far more than anyone can say about Silly Sarah.

But hey, who knows? Maybe if they stay away from politics and talk about things like getting kids to eat vegetables, it might actually be a good appearance.