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Thursday, October 20, 2011

1 in 5 Women Choose Facebook Over Sex

In polling 2,000 women,  Cosmo found that 20 percent of women-- or, 1 in 5-- would give up sex for a week if they had to choose between it and using Facebook. These results have been getting a lot of that internet buzz out there on the webs. I have to say, though, that I'm not the least bit surprised.

I think that many people out there find online interacting much more fulfilling than dealing with people in the "real world". And I don't think it's because women don't like sex as much as men-- I think we all like sex equally. But it seems as if this 20% must not be getting all the satisfaction they need from physical boning. Is that our fault, guys? Are we not achieving the highest ranks of great cocksmanship, and forcing women to get pleasure from their laptops and tablets? I mean really, if you're picking a social networking website over MUST BE getting some pretty substandard or god-awful sex.

Hey-- I'm guessing that it's sexual satisfaction. Probably because I'm a guy and that's what I think of immediately when I hear results from a poll like this (I also giggle when I use the word "poll"). Maybe it's a bit deeper than that-- maybe it's because this 20% find it easier to make a connection online, and keep their relationships online as to preserve them and not ruin the illusion by connecting with the ACTUAL person. What could be worse than a shattered illusion?

Also in the poll: 50% would give up sex for their cellphone, 70% would give up sexting, 43% would give up their computer, and 80% would give up their favorite television show. Wow-- look at all the digital technology that women would rather have than sex! Half would rather talk on the phone?! Nearly half would rather use their computer?! Well, I mean-- this is mostly bad news for us heterosexual men (and gay women).

I have to say, if faced with any of these decisions...I would choose sex with my lady EVERY TIME! That's an easy choice to make, aside from the fact that my lady is HOT. I'm a man, for heaven's sake-- when my penis fills with blood (which is often...), I NEED to use it! I can't think of one time in my life when I've given up sex to play video games or use a computer or call people or some shit! Nothing against Steve Jobs (RIP), but the vagina is the TRULY magical thing in the world!

Oh well...gentlemen  (and ladies, maybe?), I think we need to step up our game. Technology is no replacement for a good lay.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Beyoncé's Fake Baby Bump (?)

I don't really follow Beyoncé news-- I mean, other than what has infiltrated the news here and there. I like a couple of her songs, but I don't really know all that much about her. I knew, for example, that she was pregnant. Good for her. But I didn't know that there was this controversy about whether or not she was faking it.

According to People, there is a rumor going around that she is not really pregnant-- that a surrogate is actually carrying her and Jay-Z's child, and that she is wearing a prosthetic baby bump. Some are citing an interview that she did on Australian television. In the clip, the moment when she sits down to do the interview, her belly seems to cave in a bit as she sits down. I thought this was kind-of silly at first-- I mean, why would she go through all this trouble to pretend to be pregnant? There's no way this could be true. Then I saw the video (watch from the 00:57 mark):

Hmmmm. To me, it really does look like she has a fake bump! I mean look at it-- it looks like it bunches up right before she sits, and as she sits it appears to cave in! Could it be an optical illusion from the dress? I dunno-- I mean, it's not skin tight...but it's not loose either. The only way one could truly tell if it's fake or not is to touch it. THAT'S why I'm not too sold on these rumors. I mean come on-- this woman is way too high profile to pull off a fake stunt like this. Even if there was a surrogate, I don't think that she would risk making appearances with a prosthetic.

I think in a world where celebrities pull crazy stunts to hide things like their addictions or sexuality, there are folks out there looking to start a commotion where there is none. If it is true, it's extremely silly. But I doubt that it is.

BTW-- here are some pics of her from maybe a month or so ago, with her belly exposed:

Not the most pregnant-looking woman I've seen but...I guess she is. Right?

But what do I know? Like I said, I don't follow these things too closely. But Wendy Williams and her audience...they do:

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Steve Jobs, Dead at Age 56

Apple co-founder and visionary Steve Jobs has lost his battle with pancreatic cancer, and has passed away at the age of 56. No matter what you knew about how sick he was, news of his death-- a mere weeks after handing Apple over to Tim Cook, and the day after the latest iPhone was announced-- it's still a bit of a shock knowing that he is gone.

I have been buying Apple products over the last 14 years-- starting with a G3 tower that I bought for graphic design and video editing (I used Final Cut Pro v. 2 back then). This man has been a very significant icon of my professional and personal life, as not as day has gone by in over a decade that I have not used an Apple device or product of some sort. Now that he's gone, what could that possibly mean to the brand that he helped to create, and later rejuvenate.

Without Jobs, it's kind of hard to say what the future might look like-- especially since it's been Apple that has set many of the tech trends that we have in our lives. It's a voice that will truly be missed.

Hank Williams, Jr.: Are You Ready For This Asshole?

I don't think very much of Hank Williams, Jr. I mean, he's recorded a couple of decent country tunes, he's the guy that's been singing the Monday Night Football theme for as long as I can remember. That's about it-- I didn't really have a strong opinion about him either way. I have to say that even in the midst of the latest news media controversy about Williams, I still really don't have a strong opinion about him. It's just that now, he sounds like a hypocritical asshole.

Williams has been under attack for the last few days after he called President Obama a Nazi on Fox and Friends:

Now, I'm about as upset with these remarks as I am by any made by an inarticulate, shit-kicking moron. This is a guy who is clearly not a supporter of Obama's presidency-- fair enough. But when douchebags like this and Ann Coulter throw the word "Nazi" around like it's their mother's's hard to take them seriously. Hell, as a Jew that lived in Europe in the 1940s if Obama or the Wall Street protestors remind them of Nazi's, you know what they're gonna say? "Shut the fuck up."

Sure, anyone using the "Nazi" analogy is being hyperbolic (hey Hank, spell that!). But it's just so tired and totally inaccurate to compare anyone to a Nazi that hasn't committed mass murder by the millions. And as much as inbred hicks like Williams, or skanky, ignorant trash like Coulter like to speak in those terms...their use of this comparison mostly just speaks of their lack of originality and the shallow nature of their thinking. 

Of course, it took Williams a couple of days to get what he would consider an apology to come out right. His first attempt was clearly the work of a publicist:

"Some of us have strong opinions and are often misunderstood. My analogy was extreme - but it was to make a point. I was simply trying to explain how stupid it seemed to me - how ludicrous that pairing was....They're polar opposites and it made no sense. They don't see eye-to-eye and never will. I have always respected the office of the President."
Definitely more articulate, and clearly half-hearted. And ineffective, because most people didn't really buy it. So then, the man himself released his own statement:

"I have always been very passionate about Politics and Sports and this time it got the Best or Worst of me. The thought of the Leaders of both Parties Jukin and High Fiven on a Golf course, while so many Families are Struggling to get by simply made me Boil over and make a Dumb statement and I am very Sorry if it Offended anyone. I would like to Thank all my supporters. This was Not written by some Publicist."

Now that's more like it-- sloppy, rambling, borderline illiterate...written like a true, dumb good-ol boy. I love "High Fiven"-- that's my favorite (or should I say "fayvoret").

He must have been furious when George W. Bush was constantly compared to a Nazi by the Liberals-- equally as stupid as calling Obama one. But you know that Williams must have been livid-- calling people traitors and shit for not respecting the President. It's typical, though, of assholes like this, and the teabaggers as well, to let fly on Obama without the least bit of respect for him OR his presidency...BUT DON'T TALK ABOUT THEIR PRESIDENT! And we'll see how they react when someone calls the next Republican president (2016) a "Nazi" or "Communist" or whatever stupid shit they'll come up with.

At the end of the day, it's ONLY Hank Williams, Jr. It's not like anyone respects this man for his intellect. Maybe he should keep his trap shut, unless there's a guitar playing along.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

"...I am your father."

Man, I remember the night that my parents took me and my brother to see The Empire Strikes Back. I know I was INSANE with excitement! We had seen Star Wars three years earlier at a drive-in movie theater, and it was damn-near a religious experience. I was only five at the time, and I remember it vividly-- although I had no idea at the time that it was such a ground-breaking film. But no matter how awe-inspiring A New Hope was, nothing could prepare us for what The Empire Strikes Back would reveal.

The movie itself is pretty amazing-- quite possibly the best film of the entire series. It's the point in the first trilogy when everything falls apart. And it's the moment when Luke first faces Darth Vader. It's a harrowing moment, when Vader chops off Luke's hand, and corners him. Then it happens. I remember a pronounced collective gasp-- EVERY person in that movie theater was shocked. It was a big deal, after all-- NO ONE saw it coming! It's a moment that I hope to relive with my kids, in the same way that YouTube user "bashthemonkey" was able to capture, when he video'd his kids at that key moment.

This is quite possibly one of the best clips I've seen in a long time!