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Thursday, March 17, 2011

St. Patrick's Day: Why I am Not a Fan

I don't like St. Patrick's Day. Don't get me wrong-- I don't have a disdain for the day like I have for Columbus Day (or, "Let's Celebrate a Murderer Day"). This is a day, however, that I would rather not have anything to do with the outside world.

Now, this has NOTHING to do with the Irish themselves. I love the Irish! I like corn beef, and Guiness. I've had Irish girlfriends. My daughter is 1/4 Irish. I used to frequent Irish pubs as often as my own apartment! Miller's Crossing is one of my favorite films-- you get the idea. I have nothing against the Irish people or the Irish culture. You wanna know why I don't like St. Patrick's Day? Take a walk around Manhattan around 1:30pm, preferably in Midtown. Go ahead-- I'll wait...



...okay, did  you go? Did you see it all? The stupid hats, the crappy shirts, the beads, the plastic beer steins...and the loud, stupid, fucking retarded drunken morons. THAT is why I hate St. Patrick's Day.

Now look-- I like drinking. Certainly in my youth I used to go out with friends and get smashed, and walked home at 3am, only to have to wake up at 7am to drag my ass to work by 9:30am-- we've all done it. We all go out and get blasted and have a great time. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that! You know what's wrong with St. Patrick's Day? The assholes. It's one thing to get drunk-- it's another thing to be loud, obnoxious and stupid. Have you ever been stuck in a subway car on your way home on St. Patrick's Day? IT SUCKS!

My friend Kerry is Irish. We used to work together a few years ago, and we used to go out to lunch quite a bit. One day, when we decided to go out and get some lunch and a beer, we both forgot that it was St. Patrick's Day. We stepped outside of the office building and saw the spectacle. I will never forget what she said as we were walking down the street: "God, this is so fucking embarrassing!" And I don't blame her. Every time I see or hear someone black doing something stupid or ignorant, I want to peel my skin off-- it's so fucking humiliating to be around your people when they are acting like shit-heads. I hated being in Europe, and seeing loud, stupid Americans-- HATED IT! All you want to do is go to work, go out to eat, run your errands, maybe go out for a drink, go to a movie, you know-- live you life! And you want to do it peacefully, without any bullshit! Good luck with that...

So now, here we are...March 17th, 2011. I managed to get to work today without seeing too much bullshit. But it's early still. I even accidentally put on a sweater with green stripes. I was going to change it before I left, but I just said "fuck it" the end, I really don't care. I guess I'm too old to care about shit like that. All I want to do now is get through the day without having to deal with drunken idiots. I'm going to try to step over the pools of vomit that will be all over the street by the end of the day, OR when I am going to work tomorrow morning.

We'll get through it...we always do.

1 comment:

I accept your apology said...

I miss you Charles! It is official douche day today. Wish we were having lunch. Lunch next week though, when it's not as embarrassing out. I've heard 3 sirens so far today. Ironic? I think not. Ugh.