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Thursday, December 23, 2010

Kevin Smith's "Red State" Teaser Trailer

Over a month after "hearing" the teaser trailer to Kevin Smith's image-altering new film Red State on his "Red State of the Union" podcast, today he released the pictures that go along with Michael Park's singing:

After hearing repeatedly about how "this doesn't look or feel like a Kevin Smith film", I'd have to say that statement is true. It looks like a European film, to be honest (they mentioned Let the Right One In as a source of inspiration for some of the shots-- it's totally evident).

What can I say, really. It's certainly a departure from his previous films-- it's almost hard to believe from watching this, that it's the same guy that directed Clerks and Dogma. The performances look convincing, the photography is beautiful, and the mood set in the trailer is awesome and compelling.

Can't wait to see it.

Nancy Pelosi and Steven Speilberg: Rebranding the Democrats?

So there's this story floating around about how Speaker of the House-turned-minority leader Nancy Pelosi has been seeking creative-types to help rebrand the Democrats. One of the people on the list is said to be Spielberg, but his agent has denied the rumors.

"[Wednesday's] story regarding Nancy Pelosi made a reference to Steven Spielberg that requires a response," spokesman Marvin Levy told The Hollywood Reporter. "I can say as a long-time spokesman for Steven that he has made it his career to direct actors, not political figures."

Calling up a film director for branding advise may not be a bad idea. But Spielberg? I dunno-- I would have gone maybe Michel Gondry or Spike Lee maybe, or even Judd Apatow...

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

John Travolta, Out of the Closet?

I've been hearing this for YEARS. They say that John Travolta is gay. He has several gay lovers. He loves to have sex in bath houses. People working on John Travolta movies have to sign a non-disclosure agreement because he can be seen on-set with his boyfriend(s). These are the kinds of stories that have been floating around for a long time. To some people, this would be shocking. To others, not really a big deal. But would most people be so disgusted that they would never want to see another Travolta movie again? Would his career be over? Why else would he remain "in-the-closet" all these years?

Through all the rumor and speculation, Carrie Fisher has recently and probably unintentionally "outed" Travolta during an interview with The Advocate. It was in much the same way that some say Betty White "outed" Cary Grant a few months ago-- just casual conversation. It seems as if both ladies, in both instances, figured that everybody knew that these men were gay.  And I think most people DO know. Much in the way that people know that Will and Jada, Tom Cruise, and Kanye West and many, many, many others are gay.

Maybe they are, maybe they aren't-- who really cares? Well, that's a stupid question. There are plenty of people out there that care, and I'm not just talking about the idiotic homophobes and other bigots. People in the LGBT community have very few advocates. It would be great for them if famous and influential people were to not only come out, but help to champion their cause. But even the most famous of people have hang-ups and insecurities.

If only there were more like Barney:

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Tron-A-Sutra: It's Nerd Sex

As you know, there are some pervs out there who will take anything at all, and add a sexual slant to it. People do it all the time-- sexualizing movies, cartoons, anything. Introducing SCORE, a users guide of sexual positions, as performed by actors in a 1982-Tron aesthetic. Why, I dunno...

And yes, these are NSFW:

#1: Missionary

#6: Riding the Face

#12: The Cowgirl

#16: Doggy Style

These are just a selection of my personal faves. The rest can be found here.

It's silly, but some dork somewhere will be turned on by this. Hold your horses-- they're working on a 2010-Tron porn called "Pron".  In the meantime, Playboy has you covered with their own version of Tron called Game On:

Check it out:

There ya go. Hey man...they did it with Avatar...

Force Unleashed 2: Death of Han Solo

I haven't played a Star Wars-themed video game in over two decades. I remember the vector-based arcade game-- you fought Tie-fighters in space, then did the trench run. I loved it!

Yeah, man-- that was state-of-the-art! 1983 in tha house! Since then, there's been a bunch of games, most of which just treading and retreading over stuff that happened in the movies. But now there's this "Force Unleashed" series, now up to #2. I don't know much about #1, and I don't really know much more about #2. There have been some really slick trailers, though.

Force Unleashed #1

Force Unleashed #2

Star Wars games have had a reputation of being let-downs, probably because most people were really keen on playing the movies-- and that's rarely been done well (Lego Starwars is okay). With Force Unleashed, they're taking liberties with the movies and pretty much doing an alternate universe "what if" kind of thing. With #2, which was "unleashed", if you will, they do a lot of revisionist stuff. One of these things has shocked Star Wars fans everywhere. It's the scene on Endor from Return of the Jedi, and the deaths of two pivotal characters in the Star Wars saga:

Pretty crazy, huh? The cinematics in these games are really really great! I have NO IDEA why Lucas just doesn't make an animated feature film this way. Or, why he couldn't model they action and photography seen in clips from a video game.

Truth-be-told, I haven't bought a video game in YEARS. I have a Wii, and I now want an Xbox (I love the idea of Kinect). Very few of these games inspires me to go out and spend $60. I'd rather wait a year or two when they'll be $19.95, or even $34.95. Maybe sometime in 2011, I'll have an Xbox. Then I'll try this game out to see if this scene is the only worthwhile thing to see or do in this game. It sure looks cool, though...!

Friday, December 17, 2010

Scissor Sisters' "An Invisible Light"

This is by far one of the best music videos I've seen in recent years. A combination of 80's dazzle with Dario Argento visuals, Barcelona-based CANADA have created something quite wonderful. There are some brief boobies and blood, so certain aspects are NSFW-ish...I say "ish" because it's art, and not gratuitous smut.

Cinematography by Gomez del Moral and David Valldeperez.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Grand Theft Mario

When I first saw /Film mention this video, I just smirked and moved on; not interested. Parody videos are not often worth the time-- especially those that clock in at over 4 minutes. However, I had a wild hair up my tush to appease, so I decided to watch it. GOOD STUFF!

Machinima is alive and well!

XBox Kinect-Sex

Oh, don't act all shocked and surprised! It was bound to happen sooner or later!

Smut game makers thriXXX (NSFW) are hard (no pun intended) at work on making the XBox Kinect compatible with their games. That's right-- soon enough, teenage boys and lonely, grown men can mime their way into the panties of any number of virtual chicks!

It's a novel idea, for sure. Even if you've got a drop-dead gorgeous lady at home (I do! I do!), you have to try this out at least once! Shit, I would...! True, it'd get boring pretty quickly...but the 16 year old in me is totally stoked! That's a party-game for you ASS! Literally!

Seems like people are hacking their Xbox Kinect like crazy out there! Here's some more fun stuff, courtesy of KinectHacks:

Booboo Kills Yogi: Alternate Ending to Yogi Bear Movie

A friend of mine sent me this clip, and the moment it ended, someone else sent it to me! This is a visual metaphor for what the so-called filmmakers have done to this beloved character. Animator Edmund Earle has created what is becoming quite the internet sensation. He built everything himself here, using key art and the commercials as reference to building his own models of the characters:

Shit begets art...which is actually based on a scene from the film "The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford":

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Monday, December 13, 2010

Ferrell and Reilly as Bowie and Crosby

Hey! How are you today? Say, you like the holidays? You like laughin' a little?  See what the good folks over at "Funny or Die" have created for you. We have Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly remaking "The Little Drummer Boy" scene created originally by David Bowie and Bing Crosby:

If you're too young, or were (or are) too drunk or stoned to remember the original, here it is:

Peace on Earth. And all that junk.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Duncan Hines and the Racist Cupcakes

Ah, racism. Know you no bounds?

Actually, this is kinda silly...but I understand. I can also understand because I've worked in advertising for nearly 15  years. There's definitely a racial disparity in the field-- most of the time (I'm on the creative side of things), I am the only black person in the room, along with your occasional asian or hispanic. And I can say that damn near any instance of mention of "racism" is accidental; there is usually a very calculated effort to avoid racism or sexism of any kind. But, sometimes...some things kind of fall through the cracks-- not intentionally...but just, in general, because most people (Americans, in particular) just do not understand history.

Take, for example:

They are calling them "Hip-Hop Cupcakes". Why? No clue. Possibly because the song they sing kinda sounds like some focus-groupy idea of what "hip-hop" sounds like. "Hip-Hop" being the musical art form introduced by African Americans. And "cupcakes" being...a tasty treat. Anyway, so look at the artwork. Vanilla cupcakes, with chocolate frosting, with eyes and pink lips. Some people are claiming that this image is akin to blackface. Is it?

So...there ya go.

There are some people that will hear the accusations of "racism" about this Duncan Hines ad, and immediately call "bullshit". BUT, in advertising you have to understand something about the world we live in: PERCEPTION MEANS EVERYTHING. Again, I'm not saying that the people responsible for the advertising here are maliciously targeting black folks with images of black face. Chances are, no one heard anything about it, or thought anything about it, until the ad was out the door. And, chances are that someone tried to mention to them that this ad made the cupcakes look like they were in blackface, and they probably said "No way-- NO ONE would think that!" Either way, unfortunately, that was their fault.

So, I don't call "racism" on this ad campaign. I merely call "head up their asses".

Paul McCartney Sings "Scrambled Eggs", Orginal Lyrics to "Yesterday"

It's a thing of Beatles folklore, come-to-life on the Jimmy Fallon Show.

Any good Beatles fan knows that while Paul was writing the song "Yesterday", that he had to use placeholder lyrics to remember the melody, namely "Scrambled eggs, oh my darling how I love your legs." Being the music-lover that Fallon is, he asked Sir Paul about these lyrics, then asked if he would perform the "Scrambled Eggs" for the audience. Which, he did:

That was fun! Maybe he's not really dead...

Thursday, December 9, 2010

White Christmas Probability Map for 2010

Science + Internet = Awesome!

This is the kind of geeky crap that I would have gone ape sh*t over in my youth. Who am I kidding-- I love this sh*t NOW!

The good folks over at the Weather Channel have created for you White Christmas fans out there a probability map, so you can determine whether or not you will get snow for Christmas. The map above is for the Northeast, which is where I am. Looks like I'm in the 40% probability range. Oh well. Less for me to shovel.

Don't Ask Don't Tell Ban FAILS

Ooooo, this is NOT a good week for Dems...or the unemployed...or the children of illegal aliens...or 9/11 first responders...and now, gays in the military. Senate Republicans have blocked the passage of the Don't Ask Don't Tell repeal by 3 votes. THREE VOTES. Wow, what a collection of Christmas Coal for the Obama Administration.

Man, what a goddamn shame. I don't even know what to say about this. Bigotry, greed, and intolerance all around. It's so sad and disappointing. Every time this country tries to move just slips backward.

Well, Merry Xmas Right-wingers. You've earned it.

Has President Obama Kept His Campaign Promises?

According to Politifact...mostly.

With all the incredible bitching and whining coming from the left and progressives regarding the President's tax deal with the GOP, many are diving over the deep end in regards to the President's track record for keeping true to the promises he's made on the campaign trail.

Politifact has compiled over 500 of Obama's campaign promises, and has built a database to provide a glimpse as to what he has been true to...and what he has not. And out of 500...123 have been kept...only 24  have been broken...and the rest are either up-in-the-air, compromised, or in the works.

Two years into his presidency, and the progressives and liberals are absolutely losing their shit. FOR WHAT?! Anyone that thought that this man was the messiah, and he could and would give them EVERYTHING they wanted is naive, childish, and bordering on stupid. I say "stupid" because most of the criticism out there has been petty. I dunno-- maybe it's because I have known all along that this man was only as good as the people that he has surrounding him...and those people, for the most part, are not very good. Is that his fault? Eh, somewhat. I mean, other than the people in his cabinet, the officials in Congress elected by the people have been less than competent as far as getting the American people what they need to live.

I guess I'm not too surprised that people are jumping in his shit. They did it to Bush, they did it to Clinton-- why not Obama? There hasn't really been any major disappointment for me that I'm willing to lash out at him as vehemently as the likes of Keith Olbermann and Rachel Maddow. I like those two people very much-- I watch their shows all the time (my daughter and I sing a little song to Olbermann's theme). I have been a bit disappointed in their reaction to the deal that Obama made with the GOP-- especially when it's just that...A DEAL. Nothing signed, sealed, or delivered. These two just lost their shit over it!

Look, do I like the idea of the rich getting their d**ks sucked? Nope. I also don't like the idea of these stingy bastards  holding out EVEN MORE because their precious tax cuts are gone. And THEY WILL hold out without those cuts-- make no mistake. Will tax cuts for the rich add to the deficit? Yup. As far as I'm concerned, in the grand scheme of things, this president has, in two years, spent FAR LESS than the Bush Administration spent during their 8 years in office...and on FAR MORE EGREGIOUS things! If Obama needs to spend A FRACTION of what Bush spent to make sure we get ourselves back on track, then so be it. We were $14 Trillion in the hole when Obama took over...what's an extra $1.5 Trillion to get these rich fucks to open up their wallets?

So Obama broke his Bush Tax Cuts promise. Yes, he's the ONLY POLITICIAN in the HISTORY OF THE WORLD that broke a promise. Let's be adult about this silly shit. I don't like it, either. But what else are we going to do? And none of that idealistic shit-- knowing what the climate is out there...WHAT ELSE ARE WE GOING TO DO?


Hey...maybe we'll just set up a new state for shanty towns, so the 2 million people who are out of work can settle there. What's a Native American word for "up shit's creek" or "you're just fucked" or "we want a political shit-show so we can prove to the Republicans that we have bigger dicks than they do"?

Monday, December 6, 2010

Kevin Smith's Continuing Airline Problems

I'm sure every one of us has had our share of customer service problems. To put it in more human terms, we have all had to deal with some fuck-nut douchebags that wield false power in certain situations where they COULD be helpful...but for some stupid reason, they end up acting like the insignificant, underpaid pieces of shit they are.

Case in point, the latest in the apparently continuing saga of "Kevin Smith and the Asshole Airlines." I happen to be on Mr. Smith's Twitter feed, and over the last hour or so he has been tweeting about the situation that he, his wife, and his friend Jason Mewes has been currently caught up in. This time, it has nothing to do with his weight. It's exclusively piss-poor customer service. He's even blogged about it-- check it out. For those of you too lazy (or busy) to read it...basically, having been at the airport for a little over an hour, Smith and his party were kept from entering the plane. They arrived at the gate at the final moments of boarding, and literally had the plane door closed in their face. When they (calmly, as Smith indicates) tried to reason with the assholes at the gate, they were turned away. When they tried to inform them of his wife's medication, which was in their baggage...that was on the plane...they didn't seem to care. All of this went on, while the plane remained in the terminal.

I like Smith a lot. Love his movies, and have been an avid listener of his podcasts. It always sucks to hear about good people being caught up in other people's bullshit. I mean, come on! The asshole at the plane door...the fuck heads at the customer service desk...and the fact that his bags were STILL on the plane that they would not allow him to get on-- with his WIFE'S MEDICATION still inside?!

Virgin America is now on Smith's shit-list, along with Southwestern. It's too bad that there are companies out there that may offer wonderful service...but are managed and maintained by low-level, emotionally retarded, intellectually impotent little shits. I've been in similar situations as Smith with airlines, and I'm not at all famous...and I was not disrespected like this...except for this one time with Delta Airlines...and I turned that place out like a $5000 whore-- I was PISSED, and will NEVER fly Delta again!

I hope his wife is okay without her medication. And I hope all you Smith fans out there give him some support. If you can't boycott, then at least spread the word: the Virgin America crew working at terminal 4/gate B25 on December 6th, 2010 for the 11:45am flight to LAX are shit.

Pass it on.

UPDATE: According to a tweet by Mr. Smith, all was smoothed over with Virgin-- they apologized, refunded the flight, and offered free tickets.

New Documentary on Antiquing Seeks YOUR Help with Funding!

And now, for some shameless self-promoting...

In addition to writing this blog, I am also a filmmaker. Recently, I've launched a new project through Kickstarter for my latest film-- a documentary short called "Things and Stuff", about the antiquing community in Nyack, NY.

With your help, dear reader, I can turn this trailer into a fun and entertaining film for your viewing pleasure. What's that? You don't wanna pledge any money? It's cool...just recommend it to a friend, or lover, or enemy, or teacher from high school, or co-worker, or lady in line at the store, or a favorite celebrity! And get this-- you don't even have to donate a lot of money! You can donate $1.00 if you want! And I'm giving away rewards for donations of certain dollar amounts-- REWARDS!! That's pretty sweet, if you ask me.

In these shitty economic times, YOU have the power to dictate what makers create, so that you can spend your money wisely! Imagine, you can fund a film that will be sent out to film festivals all over the world! You can have your name shown on screen in Iceland or England, or Los Angeles or New York, or some such place.

So please, check out the teaser. Maybe you'll like it.

Thanks for your support!!!

The Simpson's as Muppets for Christmas!

Wow, The Simpson's have been making quite a bit of news this year! Previously, they made a splash with their Banksy-directed opening sequence. And this time, for their annual Christmas episode, they've produced a live-action segment, featuring Katy Perry:

The Katy Perry appearance is obviously a nod to the so-called controversy with her Sesame Street appearance. I have to tell ya, I'm not really a fan (I don't really know her work at all), but I am enjoying the fact that she seems to have a sense of humor about herself. And she's easy on the eyes, too.

I think this is great. I've been a Simpson's fan since their initial appearance on the Tracy Ullman show back in the late 80s. And even though they've not been raising the hell that they used to, they still manage to do something to keep this show fresh and entertaining. Now I just have to remember to at least DVR the new episodes...

Thursday, December 2, 2010

NASA Discovers New Life Form

Very exciting and incredible news!

NASA has just announced today that they have discovered a new life form that in no way resembles life as we know it. Not necessarily alien, but a new life form which uses arsenic as a base as opposed to what other Earth-based lifeforms use:  carbon, hydrogen, nitrogen, oxygen, phosphorus and sulfur. This is pretty freaking amazing!

The arsenic-based life form was discovered in Mono Lake in California. If you've never heard of it, here are a some pictures:

Looks like another planet, doesn't it? But it's right here on Earth, and has proven to be the breeding ground for a new form of life. This is the kind of thing that will force text books to be rewritten. This is the kind of thing that was once thought to be impossible. This is the kind of thing that reaffirms how important scientific research is to our species. Where's THAT in your Bible, Religiouso?


The newly discovered microbe, strain GFAJ-1, is a member of a common group of bacteria, the Gammaproteobacteria. In the laboratory, the researchers successfully grew microbes from the lake on a diet that was very lean on phosphorus, but included generous helpings of arsenic. When researchers removed the phosphorus and replaced it with arsenic the microbes continued to grow. Subsequent analyses indicated that the arsenic was being used to produce the building blocks of new GFAJ-1 cells.

White Pride TV

Prepare yourselves for something funny. Did you know that white people are a minority in America? Did you know that white people are a minority in the world? Did you know that the white race needs saving? Well, why not-- you ignorant bastards?! And it's only because you DON'T know, that white racists have had to resort to creating White Power TV, which is passive-aggressively named "". One thing that's constant about white racist: they're incredible cowards.

So you may be asking, "Who the hell is this Thomas Robb person"? Well, you know-nuthin' moron, Pastor (!) Thomas Robb is the host of the webcast "This is the Klan", which is now in episode #436 (I think-- I dunno, I'm a dumbass about this silly Klan shit, like most of you). If you haven't seen it, just HAVE TO! You can hear all about how horrible Democrats and blacks and hispanics and mulsims and jews are-- all in glorious standard-definition VHS-quality video (really, guys-- go buy a HD Flip  Camera!'s a "Global Minority Report"...!

They have (wisely) disable the ability to embed their videos. So you'll just have to click here. Trust me, it's worth your time.

The bovine lady next to Robb is  Klan Spokesperson Rachel Pendergraft. Enchanting, this pair. Any show that starts with a banjo playing "Dixie", you KNOW it's gonna be good! The production values are brilliant-- notice how close they are sitting to each other-- so as to hide the fact that their backdrop is not big enough to hide the moonshine still in their basement. You will NOT find a more articulate, thoughtful, and educated pair than these two! If you don't have the energy to wade through the entire 28 minutes of this episode-- go to the 17 minute mark, where you'll hear them talk about a situation with a black man and a white barber. This segment pretty much sums up the (lack of) mind set of the white racist. This is by far one of the funniest things I've ever seen; pig-ignorance this intense is nothing to get angry about-- it's WAY too funny to know that people are this stupid.

And if you thought that show was something, wait 'till you see The Andrew Show!

I love how they had to green screen some books behind this kid (as if ANY OF THESE PEOPLE have every read books!). Look, I'm not going to bust this kid's balls-- it's not his fault that he's being forced to read some adult's stupid conspiracy theories. The Marmaduke movie is an allegory for anti-white racism in America? Really? It's just sad, really. Or just plain stupid. Videogum managed to get a link to embed this beauty:

But Andrew is not the only kid offering some words to the empty-headed, bigoted white folks of America. Catch the 18th episode of Shelby Pendergraft's (spawn of the pig Rachel, I'm sure) Youth Focus with Shelby Pendergraft, presented by The Knight's Party.

They had to green screen some books behind this genius, too. I don't know why these people pretend that they are readers (isn't that an elitist activity?) Judging by the way she struggles through her written notes, I don't believe for a second that she has spent any time reading anything written by anyone with an education preceding grade school. Anyway, this is a show dedicated to all the white youth of the world-- to let them know that they're not alone, no matter what people say. Sigh. I won't pick on a little boy, but this is a teenager, so...I'll just say that she is as painfully inarticulate as her mother. If you're watching episode 18, fast forward to 9:47, where she talks about what she saw while watching VH-1 on the treadmill; fags and race mixing.

And don't think that her mother is just tied down to Pastor Robb's show-- she has a show of her own! Check out "The White Woman's Perspective"!

Okay, well...this time I have no idea what the hell she has green screened behind her-- she's at least keeping it honest by not showing any books. You don't have to wade through this one to find the stupidity-- she comes right out swinging in this one! She holds up a copy of Cosmo featuring Julia Stiles, and talks about how she doesn't like Stiles because she's had interracial love interests in movies. She says that her values are skewed, and that she's leading good white girls to think that if you want good sex and a knight in shining armor, then they need to go black. As if this gussied-up trash is something to look up to. Talk about lipstick on a pig...

As Thomas Robb and Rachel Pendergraft have repeatedly offered, there is "far too much hypersensitivity in the non-white community". Let those same people read ANYTHING that I've written about race, and they would cry like dogs on the way to the vet.  Folks like this, and Glenn Beck, and Rush Limbaugh, and Sarah Palin...these self-righteous, small-minded white folks that can't see past the color of their own skin...these are the people that immediately lose their minds when they are forced to face their hypocrisy and ignorance. In my life, and in my experience, whites are THE MOST SENSITIVE when it comes to criticism-- not even bigotry...just flat out, basic criticism. They cannot handle it. People like this have had centuries in this country of smelling their own farts. Anyone to tell them that their farts are foul...well, then it's blasphemy. Typical.

So, ladies and germs, if you want stupid, look no further than White Pride TV. This is the kind of junk that represents the voice of the modern white racist. When you hear white politicians and teabaggers talking about the need to take our country back...THIS is the mind set. These are the people that are (barely) articulating what the most cowardly of racists and bigots would dare not say so bluntly in public. I say that everyone needs to watch the shows on this site; non-whites and normal whites. Learn what flitters around in the tiny minds of the inbred racists. Learn their ways. Listen to their flumbling words. Know thy enemy.