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Monday, November 23, 2009

"Who's got the rubbers?": American Music Awards, 11/22/09

I haven't seen the AMA's since the 80s. Maybe Michael Jackson was on, or Madonna, or INXS-- whoever was big at the time. And it was okay-- you know...good, clean, family fun. Now, maybe I've become a bit old fashioned in my 37 years, but I have to tell you...I can't believe what I saw on this show last night. Not that I was necessarily shocked by what I saw...I was just shocked that they showed it on a major network during prime time!

I didn't watch all of last night's American Music Awards-- I have absolutely no interest in anyone on it. I know WHO was there, and WHO was performing...but none of these people really do anything that would prompt me to spend 3 hours watching it. But I'll tell you, there were a couple of things that I happened to catch that were surprising.

The television was on. I was not watching, only listening. I hear Seth Green introduce Eminem and 50 Cent. They come on, and produce some noise with people shouting over it. But then I heard them shout "Where's the rubber? Who's got the rubbers?", which forced me to stop what I was doing. "Did they just say 'who's got the rubbers?' On national television?" Not only that, but you couldn't really hear the rest of the song, because the network kept cutting the audio because of the cursing and/or whatever other crap they were saying. I'm sure there were some horrified parents listening to their kids fill in the gaps of audio with "shit" or "bitch" or "nigger"-- whatever it is that they cut out.

And then there was this Adam Lambert kid-- looking like an extra from one of those Twilight movies. Okay, kid-- you're gay, we get it. You're not ashamed of it, we understand. But you make kids music. For kids. I don't think simulating a blow job during prime time is the kind of thing you need to be showing your audience. Yeah, I'm sure there are some 20 and 30 year old Chelsea boys that dig you...but that's not who's buying most of your crap. I mean, the flipping the finger...yeah, you're a tough guy. The making out the guy on stage...yeah, you're a rebel, I understand. But come on...! And hey, if it was a straight guy doing it, I'd be pissed too. Maybe another one of these pop goons DID do some simulated crap on stage-- I don't know, because I didn't see it all. IT'S A FAMILY SHOW! In PRIME TIME!!

I guess it's because I'm a dad now (with a 4 year old) that I'm noticing stuff like this. And look- I REALLY, TRULY do not care that they do this shit-- I have no real moral argument against rock and pop starts doing crazy shit on stage (I grew up with Michael Jackson grabbing his balls). BUT...on a family show...I don't think that's right.

I mean, aside from that, I think the show sucked. The "gay guy" and the JLo fell, Rhianna wore bondage (like she has for the last 4 months), and Kate Hudson's nips almost fell out-- those were big stories. Other than that, well...the stuff that passes for popular music today is pretty dreadful. These people sing off-key (where's your robot-voice NOW?!), they can't really dance, and all the songs sound EXACTLY THE SAME. I guess it's like it's always been-- if you want the REALLY good new music, don't look to the mainstream.

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