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Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Say that to my face...book


It seemed like everyone in the office was on Facebook. I would hear people talk about it here and there, and never really thought much of it. To me, it was just another MySpace...but with older people. I know that it started as an online community that catered to college students, and later branched out to the general public. But I still really knew nothing about it. I had a MySpace account, but I never used it because...well, I thought it was kinda stupid. If I wanted to chat with my friends, there was email...and IM...and that quaint little invention called the telephone. So I really wasn't all that interested in this social networking site stuff. I did enough socializing without computers being involved.

But then one day I overheard some co-workers talking about a game of Scrabble that they were playing, and that they were playing it on Facebook. "Really?" I thought. That's kinda cool, I could see myself doing that. I mean, gone were the days (apparently) of getting a group of friends together to play the actual game, with the cardboard game board and wooden tiles, and that black felt bag used to juggle and pull the tiles from. This is the future! And in the future, you can play Scrabble online! So that was how I got pulled into the social networking sensation. And now that I'm there...I think I want out. But I don't know how to leave it!!!!

Now, I'm ass-deep in notifications about flirts, and Happy Pills, and Super Wall posts, and sheeps being thrown at me. Not a day goes by that I'm not clicking "Ignore" on some stupid Facebook App that my "virtual friends" keep sending me! Every. Goddamn. Day. Sure, you can modify the apps so you're not getting bombarded with emails and clogging up news feeds with how many people think you're hot, or loveable, or who wants to test your movie knowledge about celebrity couples and gangster movies....but still, you don't know this shit before you sign onto this thing! At first, it's cool! You find out that a lot of your friends are on the site. And you find out that you old college roommate is also on the site. And that ex-girlfriend that you couldn't get along with, but was great in bed, is ALSO on the site! And you can put up pictures, and movies and videos, so that your cousin can see your daughter or son open their Xmas presents, or your friends and co-workers can see what you did on your trip to Paris. It's fun like that...at first....

...so now, the honeymoon is over. I'm getting my ass handed to me in their stupid version of Scrabble (which will only validate words when it feels like it). And now I have to go through and delete all those stupid apps that people sent me (no, I don't want to be an Ice Vampire, goddamn it!). But...I must say that I have met people from all over the world through various posts and even some of those stupid apps. And, something that NEVER happens to me in "real life"...women approach me. Quite a few women, in fact. Attractive women. Who want to chat, and look at your pics, and you look at theirs, and you flirt, and write "xoxox" when you close your messages...it's all very cute. And to all those ladies out there in Finland, and Sweden, England, and Africa, I say to you...it's been fun. But I have to get back to my life of passive-aggressive and overly-cautious New York girls. And then I can break out my Scrabble board, and call my friends up to see if they can come over to play, but can't because they're too busy.

Or...I can just live virtually virtual, and fight zombies.

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